afloat

It's been merely a month plus since I've completed my studies in Uni and yet it feels like it's been ages and ages. I'm yet to settle down into anything concrete, I'm yet to decide on the paths and journeys to undertake. I feel like a little paper raft, folded and ready to set sail, but I'm still docked by the shores, watching the waves lapping and splashing, wondering about the sunset I'm supposed to float majestically into, or perhaps the wild blue yonder, or the horizons that stretch far and wide. 

Or I might just capsize the moment I hit the first wave. 

might.

Honestly, the options are bountiful, limitless. Decisions are difficult to make, and I choose not to make any, just yet. It been just a little over a month. I'm allowed a bit more freedom, a bit more time, aren't I?

But the choices just keep on growing in number. I feel rather swamped. Swimming in my sea of indecisiveness (and guilt). So much for my high hopes of commitment-less and responsibility free months of enjoyment. Much as the anticipation of the days ahead continue to grow, the dread and anxiety looms menacingly, daunting. 

It is difficult to have no home, no dwelling. To not belong. It is difficult to have 'life' packed up into neat little (and not so little) boxes, taped and stacked (and placed in different locations). It is difficult to have those-familiar-things dismantled, displaced and left in obvious corners. It is difficult to feel like a constant burden, draining the hospitality of those around. These, the consequences of my choices made, that have yet to be deemed 'mistakes'. Oh no, not just yet. 

The winds are stirring, toying the sails, the sky a brilliant, beautiful blue, a fine ripe day for a voyage.  

What the future holds can never compare to Who holds the future. My future.