psalm 118:17

dooms day came and went..
yes, God gave me my miracle. miracles, in fact.

thanks to all the beautiful angels He sent to help me..
weeliem for helping me get the glass and breaking it
josh and albert for breaking the glass too
rach and chee yong for staying up the night accompaniying me and building my sculpture
johnson for painting one of my potraits

in fact, the way that i got the glass itself was a miracle. i never ever noticed the two glass panels leaning against the wall until weeliem told me so. i cant believe its like, just there. i had to buy it of course. but i'm not complaining. saved me all the hunting which i didnt have the time for. (this was the day before submission) :P

on submission day, half of me wanted to believe that God will pull me thru, the other half felt that it was impossible. not because God can't do it, but because i really didnt deserve it. ( i had only completed 1.5 of the 5 submissions)

i still got my scolding. a good long one in fact. complete with sculpture throwing and insults. but the beautiful thing was this, we all got scolded together, not individually. we were the only class that got a mass lecture. everyone else had a private consultation. and cause we were all together, all our work was grouped together, so, he didnt and wouldn't have known that i didnt complete my work.. to me, that was amazing.

and this subject, was also the only subject i got barred from. purely my own lack of time management. i missed one too many consultations, which i wrote truthfully in the appeal letter. no, ee is not enough to justify the fact of my own irresponsibility. it's just not a strong enough reason for me to shift my blame on.

in class that day, he talked about the bar list.. 110 students got barred. and he cut it down to 56. of which i was still in. he said he will try his best to help.. as he flipped thru the appeal letters..

".. eh.. audrey.. audrey, where are you?"

i raised my hand

he flipped somemore..

".. Ong Wxxx Cxxx..!"

she raised her hand

".. even my good students are on the list.."

for a moment, i was speechless. good? am i? honestly, its one of my least favourite subjects.. at one point, i really hated it. cause. i still cant draw for nuts. it's such a struggle for me to complete the work.. but he called me good.. i felt bad. i had disappointed him. :(

thats just the way God works.. He saved me from an ultimate trashing, He reprimanded me and He also didnt forget to affirm me. i dont deserve it. not the least bit.

i just wanna say that God, You're never ever oblighed to do what You do. You're never ever oblighed to save my skin when it is me that could have done better. and God, it will not change the fact that i will still serve You, irregardless of what happens. it will not change the fact that i will still love You.. irregardless of what happens.

.. i shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord.. -psalm 118:17

i have two more weeks for resubmission.. and in between then and now, 3 other submissions await.. i WILL make it. with God on my side. i dont doubt anymore.

to work.

:)

.:: oh, i was unbarred. found out on friday night. *smilez* ::.