of talks, friends and emo-ness

the last two nights were precious. :) glad that i got to talk to some friends which i haven't talked to in a longggg while. the moment was much cherished. thanks for your time. *smilez*

i guess i haven had much chances of talking to people lately. every other person is caught up with life and all it's activities. same goes for me. and then again, it's not every person that you can sit down and talk to for hours.

i miss friends.

the friends that really mean it when they say that they care and that they will be there. it's not measured by the amount of time spent together. but little words, small actions still count i guess. i'm starting to remind myself to be careful when i say words like 'i care' and 'i'll be there'. i got to really mean it and pay the price, so to speak.

friendships break too easily. it hurts. it does. because of words. because of sudden outbursts. because of foolishness. everything falls apart. and it's hard to mend. i learn that friends can't be cushions. they can't be supports. they can't be there. it's fine when all is. it's fine when i am.

i am being very emotionally unstable.

it's getting worse. and i have already said.. leave me be for a while. let me wallow in my emotions, my self pity or whatever you want to call it. i want to laugh when i can and just stone when i can't. i dont want to force it anymore. i dont need to be so strong when fact is, i'm as weak as can be. as human as you are.

dont ask. dont have to. i won't answer. i wont want to.

i still hope. i still love. but life is not jolly fine all the time. and, it's about time i be real to myself. God is good. yes He is. but He never promised that we would be excused from pain or sufferings or problems. i'm just thankful, that He is there. and at least His words stand.

it's raining again. *smilez* i love the rain. tears from heaven.

:)