lost for words..

i dont know what to say.. so i'll just try..

i dont want to be weak anymore.. i want to be strong again. but because of that, i find i start to pretend, i start to act, i start to close up again..

i hate it when i seem to be emo
i hate it when i'm unstable
i hate it when i lose control
i hate it
i do

darn

i hate it when i blog like this

...........

at least some of my friends still believe that i'm hyper and happy all the time.
thats good.
so be it.