the rain is falling.. the wind is howling.. so strong.. so cold.. she can barely see..
caught in a whirlpool of events.. stuck in the midst of it all..
she wishes she wasnt involved.. she wishes.. wished..
but yet.. she doesn't regret.
she knows. she understands.
and she'll stay.
here.


at least for now.

seems like a lot of things are going on.. a lot of things are happening... and sometimes its kinda hard to digest all thats going on until its a bit too late to react. i'm just so glad and thankful that i have Christ with me. i really wouldn't know how to keep going on without Him.


i guess i have learned that life isn't about me anymore.. it's about the people around. it's about loving others above yourself.. it's about Christ. and it's weird.. cause once you change your perspective, it changes your attitude too.


i've faced troubles too.. i've had to deal with my share of emotions and responsibilities. and it's not easy when everything thats familier is so far away... and everyone who cares is not there.. it's so hard to want to stand up cause it's lonely being happy and joyous when everyone is upset and depressed.. it may not make much sense but i feel that we actually enjoy being emo.. to a certain extent.


i want to shout it all out.. i want to help.. i want to be there.. but sometimes i just cannot. everything we do counts.. every word we say will contribute.. it's a chain reaction.. other people get affected too.. it's not fair.


when can we learn to put love before judgement? when can we start to care for others selflessly? its hard enough being upset over things, being confused with life without having people around step on you.. and boy, do they step hard..


its not a movie. its not a free show. its life. its real. and people are hurting big time. if you cant help, if you're not sincere. then get the hell out of here.. go somewhere else. go get yourself a life. dont stand around mocking and snigering others mistakes and faults. go look in the mirror for crying out loud!!

no, i am not accusing anyone in particular, but if you felt it. then yea, maybe you should take a look at yourself.. i know i don't do things right all the time. but i know that i try. and i love with all my heart. if you got a problem with me, come on, bring it on. i'm all ears.


it'll just make me a better and stronger person. so, why not?


i cannot help it. i cry cause i feel your pain. i want to reach out to take the hurt all away. but i can't. i can't. who am i.. who am i.. i am no one. i'm just me. dont apologize to me. i'll give as much as i can.. as much as you can take.. cause i care. i dont want anything from you. i have all that i'll ever need.


sorry.. i'm just upset.. thats all..
happy when you all are.


God.. can this end already.. ?